To The Second Max

Excellent day so far. I received the spanking new second edition of the ROVERING to the MAX promotion postcards for The Rover Company:



Would you like to distribute some of them at an event where a lot of rovers will be present? Brilliant! Please write to The Crew immediately.

It's Really A Book

After work, I had a date (no, not a lovers' tryst) with Gatín and his friend Rosi. I was a bit to early and used the occasion to drop by at the book shop. This is a rather dangerous behaviour, which has cost me a small fortune in the course of my life. But this time, it turned out to be something special. I discovered the new novel by Julian Barnes. A new Julian Barnes is always exiting. However, this time it was something really special. The new Julian Barnes is not just an ordinary book. This book looks and feels like a book is supposed to. The fonts are clear and pleasing to read. The pages ask to be turned over. This book is manna for the soul and the senses.



What is it about? No idea. It has something to do with the 'Great Wyrley Outrages'. But, who cares? Julian Barnes could write about how to grow grass and it still would be brilliant.

Some reviews:
TLS review
The Guardian review
The Guardian article
The New Statesman Review

Alemannic Sweet & Sour

It's high season for local fruits and berries in Switzerland. This Saturday, I made the Alemannic version of Sweet & Sour: Zwetschgenwähe (a kind of plum cake that tastes sweet and sour). This marks the beginning of the plum season. At first, I did not yet trust the plums on the market, but a saleswoman convinced me by offering me a plum to taste. My verdict: plums are already plum ripe.



Honouring market's variety, I made various Wähen recently. Among which, a season fusion Wähe - that is, Cherry-Klarapfel. The cherries are at the end of their season and the apple season starts with the Klarapfel.

Mille e una Notte

Last week, my father could celebrate his 82nd birthday. As usual, the perfect present is almost impossible to find. Lucky for me, Gatín brought up the ideal solution: Nero d'Avola, the red grape variety that unfolds it's potential best on the island of Sicily. Gatín also found the perfect wine made from this variety: Mille e una Notte, 2001 by Donnafugata: a perfect Nero d’Avola, lush ruby, a note of black berries, chocolate and tobacco, luscious, the tannins still have to round off, however, the long fruity finish already indulges the senses. The wine's name, which translates Thousand and One Nights, is an allusion that it transforms your senses into the favourite nectar of the gods. Mille e una Notte does not only seduce one, its enchanting quality can make the mortal among us addicted to it. Let's see, were it will take my father.



We, that is Gatín for me, bought some bottles of this treasure at Vin & Fior in Dübendorf. The owner of the shop gave Gatín also a pack of Orecchiette. Orecchiette are a distinctive Puglian type of pasta shaped roughly like small ears, hence the name (orecchiette, little ears). Unfortunately, the diminutive is a very neglected form in the English language and it does not come up with such precious terms like Orecchiette.



Gatín did not only bring a pack of Orecchiette but also a recipe: cook broccoli very briefly, mash it and mix it with garlic, olive oil, really red hot chili pepper and finely cut black olives in pan, season with salt. Mix all with the cooked Orecchiette in a bowl and serve with freshly ground parmesan.

We had Orecchiette twice so far. Once with veal and once with a whole chicken. Most important, enjoy them with a wine from southern Italy. Such as the Mille e una Notte.

Polka Dots

In Moscow, Tigresa tried to tell me that Polka Dots are the must wear this season for all women slightly interested in fashion (Moscow is the must visit place for everyone slightly interested in fashion). Unfortunately, I always forgot what this pattern is called like to the extent that she must have thought that I'm not interested at all in what she tells me.

This morning, I was flicking through the current issue of BUTT when I discovered an interview with John Waters by Wolfgang Tillmans with the headline: JOHN WATERS BARON OF BAD TASTE FROM BALTIMORE IS OBSESSED BY MICHAEL JACKSON'S POLKA DOT PENIS.

Tigresa, I will never forget Polka Dots anymore.

Le Tour des Parcs

I've been living and working in this place since 1983:



It's northern Zurich. In the background, you can see Zurich Airport, or Unique as its official and silly designation is. However, in the front is New Oerlikon. I live in the middle.

Yesterday, I made a trekking with Gatín through the parks of New Oerlikon.



This was the start. Actually, it's not yet in Oerlikon and it isn't a park. It's the end stop of tram line 14. It has recently been put in a new shape and looks quite pretty. It's also equipped with about a dozen CCTV cameras. So, don't use it with heavy black backpacks.



The first real park was the Wahlenpark. This is the newest. It has been opened on the 3rd of June. I reckon, it's named after Friedrich Traugott Wahlen, who took care that the Swiss were well fed during the Second World War.



The MFO-Park is probably the most daring. MFO is the abbreviation of Machine Factory Oerlikon. Here was the heart of Zurich's industrial area. Nowadays, it's a fancy service and living area. Unfortunately, the rents are far to high for the kind of folks like me. The park consists of a metal structure. All plants are climbers and are supposed to cover the structure within 10 years.



These are the flowers of such a climber on the third floor. According to Gatín, they look like the wet hair of a blonde girl.



The Gustav-Ammann-Park was the oldest park of our tour. It was built in 1942 as part the welfare area of my caring employer. It is a well hidden oasis of calm.



The Louis-Häfliger-Park is the smallest of the new park. It has been built were my caring employer used to test guns underground.



The Oerliker-Park was the biggest park of our tour. Somehow, Gatín managed to drag me on the top of the 35 m high tower.

Le Soleil De Zurich

I'm writing, as Radio Tropic, which is "broadcasting from the heart of Zurich", said this morning, "from the free country of Switzerland". It's our birthday today! Don't ask an old lady how old she is. It's too difficult to do math with big numbers anyway. Read Friedrich von Schiller's play Wilhelm Tell about the details.

Whatever, the day is perfectly made for a birthday party. Have a look a the day in front of Gomad Mansion™:



What you can see here are Schrebergärten (allotgarden). They are named after Dr. Daniel Gottlob Moritz Schreber, who somehow laid the foundation for this movement in Germany. This evening they will turn into a tense grid of barbeques.

At Gomad Mansion™, we are perfectly ready for a hot day. See our Red Hot Chili Peppers:



If you haven't got such an infrastructure, you're not completely lost - just switch to Radio Tropic, le soleil de Zurich.

Switzerland Is An Ursine Country Again

It has officially been conformed by represents of the Swiss National Park that there is a bear in Switzerland. As someone who has an ursine approach to life, this is thrilling news.

Although last week, I saw a big brother of the newest Swiss citizen in Siberia and I did not behave like this:

• Stop, stay calm and quiet, and make no sudden moves.
• Stand your ground - do not turn your back on the bear - sometimes a bear will bluff charge several times.
• Back away slowly, speaking in a calming, monotone voice - you want to show the bear that you are being submissive and want to get out of "It’s" territory. Do not turn your back.
• Keep a cool head - try to stay calm, do not yell or scream.

Actually, I run for the camp. Luckily, the bear was even more scared and run into the opposite direction as soon as I started running. Maybe, it did help that we always had at least several hundred yards between us.

Enough about me and back to the Swiss bear. Why did it choose the Swiss National Park? Almost everything that makes any fun is prohibited there:

Do not leave the marked trails
No dogs, not even on a lead
No winter sports, nor cycling
Do not remove anything
No overnight stays, not even in the parking areas

Out of Tune

There is the perfect summer all over Zürich and coincidentally I'm spending some days in this town that Philipp Tingler describes in his new book Juwelen des Schicksals (Destiny's Jewels) as a kind of mixture of La Prairie and Nero's Rome. Nevertheless, I'm despairingly, despondently, forlornly, hopelessly, desperately lost. My problem is that I haven't yet found the tune that perfectly matches with this summer.

My favorite tunes right know are on Blinking Lights And Other Revelations by the breathtaking Eels. Unfortunetely, it's not quite the music that I associate with stoling in a rustic bliss through Arcadia or watching perfect bums passing my towel at the local pool. I've tried many things, but nothing really fits. My hopes will gone to blazes quite soon. Please help!

Gartered Wellington Look

Far better as early adapting is setting trends. The trend I'd been setting in the remote region of north east Siberia is the long expected fusion of British aristocracy with plain fetish.



The look concentrates on the below waist area. It consists of as long as possible Wellington boots worn over a pair of yellow oilskin trousers. The gumboots are kept in position by a pair of garters. A garter-belt is not required, a wide leather belt is much more suitable. A black water-repelling top is recommended.

Silly Geek Chic Season

When David Tennant takes over the role of Doctor Who later this year, it will be in what BBC describes as "geek chic". This is supposed to look like just-got-out-of-bed, dragged-through-a-hedge-backwards, only-thing-I-could-find. For the ones who still don't get the picture: like the type of man Kate Moss might date, kitted out in a brown pin-stripe skinny and crumpled suit, white shirt - unbuttoned at the collar - a loose tie and scruffy white Converse trainers, finished off with a long brown trench coat, a cross between old hack's Mac and flasher attire.



Huh, I've got already a pair of white Converse trainers. However, I'm not quite sure if I quite like to date Kate Moss... Whateva, I'll give it a miss. It's too obvious the work of some PR wankers trying to take advantage of the silly season (or Saure-Gurken-Zeit as wee called it). Neighter geek chic nor chic geeks will save the galaxy anyway.

Kudos

I will not go as far as citing Whitman, but if there is any man in the world I would trust my life it's Juri Smirnov from Syrjanka.


Picture by Tigresa.

I had again the honour to be on Juri's raft on the Rassocha river for about a week. It's even an honour to meet him once in a lifetime, but paddling under his command makes me one of the most privileged persons alive.

Flying Domodedovo

I've spent some days in Siberia and had the opportunity to fly with my old friends from Domodedovo Airline - that is with a Tupolev Tu-154M.

The Tu-154M is a great plane. However, the entertainment system had not been included in the requirements. Nevertheless, there were some Safety Instructions, which made good for that slackness:



The Tu-154M is a not only a great plane, it's also very reliable. Unfortunately, Boeing and Airbus somehow ruined the reputation of airplanes and Domodedovo Airline was forced to put this Safety Instructions on board:



As usual, the Safety Instructions made heavy use of pictograms. The interpretation of pictograms is not always easy. Some did only reveal the concept they are representing in the course of the flight, such as:



This pictogram must be interpreted as Do not smoke outside of the lavatory. Even the flight attendants did obey this and went into the lavatories for their fag.

Domodedovo Airline does also keep an eye on the moral values. I reckon, that's why they added a pictogram for Do not hold your cigarette like a bloody pooftah:



A lot of things are prohibited during take-off and landing. Luckily, I haven't got a car. I might had brought it along:



In the section During flight, a drill for mothers was announced. I did missed that one, I must have nodded off:



A lot of things are prohibited as well during Emergency landing/Ditching. Especially, the Nylon thing might be quite discriminating for cross-dressers:



Chivalry is required from the men and grace from the women when leaving the plane via the emergency exit next to the wings after Emergency landing/Ditching:



.. and gals, don't forget to put back on the high-heels before you intend to leave the plane.

Postpone Any Celebrations

Last Friday, SAL issued the diploma for my flatmate Tigresa. She may now refer to herself as Journalist. Besides for the really humdrum sentence analysis, all grades are just brilliant. We are excited at Gomad Mansion.

Journalism is a trade with a long tradition. Great names are associated to it. Think of Charles Dickens, Rudyard Kipling, Winston Churchill, George Orwell, George Bernard Shaw and Julie Burchill. Tigresa does not make it easy for herself. But she's up for it for sure.

However, please stop sending cards, cakes, champagne, wine, booze, sweetmeats, invitations, SMSes, eMails and similar stuff until July, 25. Tigresa will be in Siberia and will be just unreachable. It would be a waste. Nevertheless, after the 25th of July you are free to send as much as you can. Short-term indebtedness is always an option.

Me debo ir o quedarme?

As I told you, I had a clash* with my boss the other day. His boss managed to calm the waves, last week. However, I've been at that place for almost six years and it's time to ask The Question. Asking question to the mirror is something for evil queens only. Hence, I contacted a friend, who is an I/O psychologist, for support.

This evening, I went for my first session. The good news is that he's willing to do the first step with me. The bad one is that I'm supposed to do some work too. That is, he gave me three questionnaires for a psychological analysis of my personality. I have to answer all of them within 24 hours. He will then analyse the response and we're going into the second round right after my Siberia trip. The three test are:

• Vocation-Structur-Test, depth psychological approach, 190 questions
• Myers-Briggs Type Indicator®, also depth psychological approach, 90 questions
• Cattell's Personality Factor Test in the revised edition, 184 questions.

As if this has not already been enough, I've also received a book about networking. Maybe a good choice, because I'm not very good at this, even though networking led me to the psychologist in the first place.

I've asked a simple question (me debo ir o quedarme?) and I've received 464 more to answer and a book to read. Almost a chain reaction as in nuclear science. Maybe I should head in that direction. It's supposed to go into a renaissance. But I've been there already. I want something new and cool, though.

* cultural reference: Me debo ir o quedarme? = Should I stay or should I go?

Getting Ready

On Wednesday, I'll be a bad lover again and leave Gatín alone back in Switzerland. Together with my flatmate Tigresa, I'm going on a pioneer river rafting to north east Siberia on the Omuljovka river in the Kolyma region. Some Siberians are going to find out whether this river can be used for tourist purposes. Tigresa and I are among five Swiss, who will serve as crash test dummies.



[Satellite Picture]

We will fly via Moscow and Yakutsk to Syrjanka. The last leg will be on a Antonov 24, a plane that could make it into any Indiana Jones film. At Syrjanka, a MI-8 helicopter will pick us up and drop an hour later at the banks of the Omuljovka together with the rest of the crew and the rafts. For the next seven days, we will probably not meet a single soul on our way down the river. At a parallel river, I saw once a bear. But usually, one is far too noisy to meet a lot of animals. However, I hope we will catch a lot of fish. There is no better food than the one direct from an unpolluted river. After the week on the river, the helicopter is supposed to pick us up again and we'll return to Switzerland immediately.

But the biggest obstacle will be to leave Switzerland together with Tigresa. Right now, she's involved in the cap drivers' strike at Zürich's airport. I hope she's not going to spend our departure in custody. Touch wood.

What Breed Are You?

This morning, I had a talk about horse breeds with my flatmate Tigresa. She's an excellent equestrian. My personal horse riding experience is more like a long record of falling off horses. I'm definitely better at riding bikes and men. Whatever, let's have a deeper look into what kind of breeds we are:

Tigresa is a Hanoverian, a warmblooded horse originating in Germany, which is often seen in the Olympics and other difficult English style competitions. It is one of the oldest, most numerous, and most successful of the warmbloods. Originally a carriage horse, infusions of Thoroughbred blood lightened it to make it more agile and useful for competition. The Hanoverian is known for its wonderful temperament, athleticism, and beauty. However in the morning she's a Przewalski, also known as the Mongolian Wild Horse.

My beloved Gatín is clearly an Andalusian, one of the purest breeds of horses in the world today. They are compact horses, yet very elegant. Their legs are clean, with good bone, and they have a high, round action, which makes them particularly suitable for High School Dressage.

If I'm in a bad mood I'm a Camargue, but most of the time a Pinto, which are supposed to be intelligent and willing. Pintos are muscular animals that are heavy but not too tall, with a low centre of gravity for rapid manoeuvrability, and powerful hindquarters suitable for rapid acceleration and extreme sprinting speed. I'm not so sure about this, though. Unfortunately, I'm not a Trakehner, the most pure of the warmblood breeds.

SL: The A-List

This is the second entry of the Projekt Sprachlust kind.



A lot of English is already implemented into German. You've just to adjust the pronunciation a bit. Let's start with the A-List:

• abgefuckt: heruntergekommen, verwahrlost
• abgespaced: ausgeflippt, verrückt, weltfremd
• abturnen: anwidern, lästig sein, siehe auch anturnen
• acid trip: Drogenrausch (z.B. mit LSD)
• action thriller: Reisser (aktionsbetont)
• adapter: Adapter, Anschluss, Zwischenstück
• additive: Zusatz
• administration: Verwaltung
• aerobic: Pop-, Tanzgymnastik, Gymnastik
• affair: Affäre, Liebschaft
• afro look: Afroschnitt, Afroverschnitt, Kraushaar
• after-shave: Rasierwasser
• agenda: Tagesordnung, Notizbuch, Plan, Terminkalender
• agreement: Abkommen, Absprache, Einklang, Übereinkunft, Vereinbarung, Vertrag, Zustimmung
• air bag: Prallkissen
• airbrush: luftpinseln, sprühmalen; Spritzpistole, Spritztechnik
• air-conditioned: (voll-)klimatisiert
• alcopop: alkoholhaltiges Mischgetränk
• all-rounder: Alleskönner, Rundumbegabung
• ambulance: Krankenwagen
• American way of life: (US-)Amerikanische Lebensart
• anclicken: anklicken
• antiaging: Fit im Alter, Jungbleiben
• Antibabypille: Empfängnisverhütungsmittel
• anturnen: anregen, begeistern, erregen, in einen Rausch bringen, Interesse wecken, reizen, siehe auch abturnen
• anyway: jedenfalls, sowieso, wie auch immer
• appeasement: Beschwichtigung, Beschwichtigungspolitik
• application: Anwendung, Programm
• appointment: Termin, Treffen, Verabredung
• aqua fitness: Wassergymnastik
• aqua jogging: Wasserlaufen (sportlich)
• aquaplaning: Wasserglätte
• aufsplitten: aufspalten, aufteilen
• ausloggen (sich): (sich) abmelden (im Rechner, im Netz usw.)
• Autocross: Geländerennen, Gelände-Wagenrennen, Querfeldein-Autorennen
• auto reverse: Bandumkehr, Selbstrücklauf, Selbstrückspulen
• Auto-Stop: (per) Anhalter
• award: Auszeichnung, Preis

Source: Der Anglizismen-Index

Projekt Sprachlust

Yesterday, Gatín and I had coffee together with Ms & Mr Mac. Actually, it was coffee, fruit cakes and a bottle of an Australian Botrytis Semillon. We enjoyed the company of the Macs. They have got loads wit and repartee.

Ms & Mr Mac have been living in Switzerland for more than two years. Nevertheless, they still remain faithful to their origin. That is, they speak English quite a lot and are not that familiar with the local vernacular. Two years is a lot and it seems time to scratch the veneer. It's time for Projekt Sprachlust, especially designed for Chateau Mac.



Let's start with a real nice German word: Lust

Lust ist das freudige Verlangen nach etwas Bestimmtem wie beispielsweise etwas zu essen oder etwas zu tun. Lust im Sinne von Vorfreude wird meist aber nur empfunden, wenn die "Belohnung" vorher schon bekannt ist. So hat Lust, abgesehen von der Lust am Unbekannten, die aber eher mit Neugier gleichzusetzen ist, immer auch mit Konditionierung zu tun.

This was to warm up. Let's go a step further to Wollust:

Wollust ist ein Synonym für extrem starkes sexuelles Verlangen bzw. sexuelle Begierde. Wollust beschreibt eine barock anmutende Empfindung, die als drängend, lustvoll, schwülstig gilt, früher auch als ruchlos und frevelhaft. Wollust ist nicht nur körperliches Verlangen, sondern setzt auch erotische Fantasien frei. Hinter der Wollust stehen mit den damit verbundenen Fantasien starke Triebkräfte und Verlockungen.

Im Christentum gilt Wollust als eine Hauptsünde wie auch die Gier. Die Wollust war einer der Hauptvorwürfe an vermeintliche Hexen in der Frühen Neuzeit. Ihnen warf man vor, dass sie aufgrund ihrer übergrossen Wollust nicht nur Geschlechtsverkehr mit dem Teufel (die so genannte Teufelsbuhlschaft) trieben, sondern auch eifrig gemeinsam Orgien auf ihren Hexensabbaten feierten.

Ready for a bit of Sprachlust at Chateau Mac?

Breeding Discord

Quite some time ago, when 256 MByte memory sticks still could lead to an exuberance of feelings, someone in our department decided to distribute such devices among the employees. I was delighted to receive one. However, it disappeared within no time from my desk. I suspected everyone to have pinched it, but couldn’t convict anyone of the theft.



This morning, I discovered the memory stick in a cupboard behind a folder. I must have put it there so that no one can snitch it. I changed to sackcloth and ashes immediately and began to express my regret to my colleagues for suspecting them. This was a big mistake. Obviously, only a few had been selected to receive a memory stick.

Sockolution

The sockscription by blacksocks is really a handy service and one of the few Swiss e-businesses that is making both money and sense. Sockscription is essential for all of you, who are getting frustrated when there are always odd socks left in the laundry, or when your sock supply seems to consist solely of single socks that don't match. If you socksubscript, you'll receive three pairs of socks through the mail several times a year. Each new pair is guaranteed to match those you already have. And that tedious shopping for socks will be a thing of the past.

I’m not really sockscripting but order occasionally a 10er box. I prefer wool socks. The fabric is gentler to my feet than cotton. However, I use cotton socks when traveling, because hotel laundries don’t handle wool socks as gentle as they should. Unfortunately, blacksocks had so far only cotton socks. But today, I discovered that blacksocks has introduced cashmere-silk socks. I’ll have to give those a try run on my feet.

Debaser

I would like to chant It's Friday I'm In Love as Robert Smiths from the Cure does so admirably. However, I'm more into Black Francis' Debaser. Don't worry, there are no shadows hanging over Gatín and me. My caring boss is responsible my current mood. Today, he was the perfect cunt. Talking about weird accusations, imputations and hidden agenda - it was all there. I'm the last to cast the first stone, but this time he went too far. I don't assume that I were any better, but he's the one who gets the middle management wage.

Motherhood I'm Coming

I've been to Switzerland for two days and I'm already getting the feeling that I'm being forced into motherhood - Imaging, me with a bairn.

First, I was told by my health insurance, what the implications of the new paid maternity leave are (we call this motherhood insurance - Switzerland did not have something like that, even though, the ferderal constitution promised it since 1945).

Then yesterday, I made some strawberries with sour creme. Apparently, fresa con crema is the favourite dish in Mexico while carrying a developing offspring within the body. How was I supposed to know?

The Season Tasting

I've told it here many times: I like season! - that is, I advocate for buying product in season and not out of it. I've just arrived from Malaysia, which is truly a beautiful country. However, they have more or less only one season throughout the year. The Malaysians say that right now, there is more haze until the end of August, but that's only because the blokes of Sumatra are burning forests.

My first shopping trip in Switzerland led me to Migros, my favourite groceries store (among the affordable ones - I loaf the other major one [Coop] because it has far too many organic stuff). I was delighted to discover that the three summer season yogurts have arrived:

• lime & green tea
• kiwi & gooseberry
• peach & passion fruit

This morning I went straight for the tasting and the result was devastating. I could not decide for a winner. I like them all. Everyone is unique and matches perfectly with summer. I reckon that my current mood will have to decide. Do I want to have it pleasantly zestful (lime & green tea), cross-grained acidulous (kiwi & gooseberry) or passionately fruity (peach & passion fruit)? Hey, it's good to have summer season!

Make Cheaper Love

Do you remember the commercial that Michel Gondry did for Levis? It was about the watch pocket. In it a teen goes to a pharmacy to buy condoms (this is in the 30s, all black and white). He gets some looks, but later goes to pick up his date, and is met at the door by her father... the pharmacist.

Finally, Migros preserves us from this kind of embarrassment and Migros helps to save some quid as well. The new M-Budget Condoms are available in the traditional M-Butget design. They are hard to be distinguished from a pack of anchovies or chewing gum. Only GSOA's* Make Love Not War design was better.

* GSOA: Group for Switzerland without army.

Things Change

I’ve thought that I’m on a kind of cruise in the Strait of Malacca by now but things changed quite rapidly after my arrival at Lumut last Friday. I was swimming in the pool when the word came through that the sailing has been postponed by about a couple of weeks, because there is no fast enough plane available for certain tests.

Now I’m sitting again in the lounge at Kuala Lumpur’s airport. This time, I’m waiting for the flight back to Zürich. Swimming in Malaysian pools is dangerous anyway. The other day, my colleague Hugo was almost hit by a dropping coconut.

This change of events allows me to spend some time with Gatín in Zürich, before I’ll heading to Siberia to participate together with Tigresa in a river rafting. I'm looking forward to both events.

Laid Back Cruising

My first brief visit to Malacca will be over in half an hours. I've been here to support an Organisational Level Maintenance course in the fancy subject Computer Based Maintenance (CBM). Unfortunately, the development of CBM for this project is not quite completed and I'm only familiar with parts of it. I did kind of a night flight with closed eyes. However, the customers seem to be happy with the result.

Luckily, Malaysia is far more laid back than Shanghai. Hence, I could kind of recover from my ordeal in Shanghai.

On the Chinese shipyard I had to sign a paper which confirmed that I've read the safety regulations. E.g. I agreed that I will not show up at work after heavy drinking on the night before. I soon learned that I was in peril on this yard. On the vessel, I was exposed to welding, sanding and painting on a daily basis. One day, a man’s shirt caught fire right next to me. The fire alarm was on anyway most of the time. One shirt (scratches) and a pair of trousers (paint and a strange oily substance) got destroyed during this setting-to-work.

But most important thing is, they have pools in Malaysia. Since I arrived here last Saturday, I've been swimming for 6½ hours at my average cruising speed of 1.3 knots. Do the math yourself.

However, this noon I'll travel up north to do some real cruising on a real vessel.

Shanghai and Me

There hasn't been an entry in this blog for quite some time. I have been to Shanghai to do some work on a shipyard. Shipyards are good at cutting and welding steel in order to build vessels. They are not the best place to go for internet access and I could not find an internet café. Maybe I did see one, but I have no idea how the sign for internet café looks like in Chinese. At least at the end of the stay, I could decipher "China" and "Shanghai". Luckily, Jackson Lim had taught me how to count to 9 with one hand in Chinese (this is different to the European way, e.g. if a European orders two beers using his fingers, he will get seven in China). I always got the number of merchandises I wanted.

Shanghai is not the best place to go for tourist purposes. Within a couple of days one has seen what’s worth to. The huge amount of new skyscrapers is amazing, I have to admit. Although, only a few are interesting from an architectural point of view. Surprisingly, there were some Art Deco buildings. On one of my long walks through the city, I discovered a breathtaking Marine Hospital in a small side street. However, the general tendency in the construction business is towards the sky:



Another surprise was the huge number of green areas. If there is the possibility to make 2 square meters of park, the Chinese build one and they keep the city clean like Zürich once was. This is me in one of the bigger parks - that is, the People’s Park:



Zürich’s car drivers like to complain about the urban cyclists (although, Zürich’s cyclists obey the traffic laws as far as reasonably possible). Zürich’s car drivers should try two survive in Shanghai’s traffic for more than five minutes without a scratch on their precious tin can. Shanghai’s traffic is hideous. Everyone - that is, zillions of cars, busses, lorries, two-wheelers, cyclists and walkers (I haven't seen inline-skates, skateboards and kick-boards) - behaves as reckless as possible. Even on the Huangpu River is rush hours 24/7 (without navigation radars and position lights). This is a snapshot of Xuijahui Square on a lacy weekend:



As it could have been expected, all the world brands have already arrived in Shanghai before me:



Yesterday, I arrived in Melaka at the Strait of Malacca in Malaysia. I'm not yet quite sure what my task here will be. Nevertheless, I reckon I'll find out on Monday. Until then, I'm enjoying the pool.

2nd Stopover

I've just arrived at KLIA airport in Kuala Lumpur. It's my second (after Amsterdam) and last stopover on my way two Shanghai. The flight was a bit humpy but apart from that business as usual. That is, meals at odd times and detached off any season. The flight entertainment toy was broken at my seat, but I did not change because I’m reading the new Tom Wolfe (I’m Charlotte Simmons). Hence I got not distracted from my read by a movie with bad picture and sound quality. The most sensational thing was that on the last leg, I was sitting on the upper-deck of a 747 for the first time in my life. There it has nice little compartments between the seats and the windows - very practical indeed.

I’m hope that my colleague Holger will be on the flight to Shanghai (as planed). I have no information whatsoever on my stay there apart from my return ticket to Kuala Lumpur on the 18th of June. That is, now hotel reservation or business contacts.

The weird thing about this trip is that in the end it’s all paid by Thailand, a country I haven’t been to apart from another stopover at Bangkok airport last year.

By the way, I got distracted form the book on the flight despite of the broken entertainment system. I could not stop thinking of Gatín. I miss you already.

Big Mistake

I had to learn that one of the big mistakes in my life has been to show a cold shoulder to lamb shoulder. This evening, Gatín surprised me and my brother with an exquisite version of this meal.



Tigresa missed not only this dinner because of a strange romance with a wary and shy bloke, but also a Penfold Bin 128 Coonawarra Shiraz 2000. Someday, she will learn to set the priorities right.

Start Breeding Now!

If you haven't got children, you should start breeding right now. But before that you have to buy Blinking Lights And Other Revelations by Eels.

Why do I command this? It all started with a blog by Stoipi, where he recommended this new record. Stoipi is an nice bloke with an excellent music collection. Nonetheless I did not rush to the shop at once, however I did put this record on the watch list. Some days later, a journalist called Philippe Amrein wrote in WOZ MUSIC: "Blinking Lights is a reason to set children into the world in order to one day tell them and the grandchildren what a great band Eels were." I was still not quite convinced, but I bought it anyway.

Today, to recover from a shopping stampede, I listened to the entire double record for the first time and I'm flabbergasted. It's like standing in a rain of diamonds - painful yet wonderful.



Even though you shoud consider it, I don't insist that you start propagating. But if there is one thing one has to do this year, it's buying Eels' Blinking Lights And Other Revelations.

Shop 'Till I Drop

I like buying groceries, however, I loaf shopping everything else. But today, it had to be. I needed:

• shoes
• a suitcase.

To warm up, I went with Gatín to the market in Oerlikon. We bought strawberries from Thurgau, chanterelles for a salad and a lamb shoulder and all the veggies necessary to roast it for a candlelight dinner on Sunday evening. Still and all, the best buy was the bunch of flowers Gatín bought for me:



At eleven o'clock, we headed downtown together with Tigresa for the essential things. We did not know it yet, but it turned out to be a long (6 hours) and a difficult (I behaved outrageously) experience.

I had to buy a suitcase, because my beloved GLOBE-TROTTER suitcase had been damaged on my last trip to Asia somewhere between Malaysia, Vienna and Zürich. My suitcase is made of vulcanised fibre board, which is light as aluminium, yet as hard wearing as finest leather. We are talking about 300£ per case. It had been damaged on the base side. Something hard and sharp must have hit it. The suitcase is usable, but I prefer not to take it along on a flight anymore.

Obviously, it was not an easy task to find a replacement. The least I wanted, would have been one of these Tupperware on wheels. We could find something, that was suitable and practical, although, it will never be as good as the GLOBE-TROTTER. See the sensible on the left and the beloved on the right:



The next task were the shoes. The requirements were:

• black
• elegant, yet not too fashionable
• useable on a bike with click pedals.

As I have anticipated, the only shop that was able to satisfy these requirements was Schuhhaus Gräb. This is probably the most antediluvian shoe shop in town. The salesladies are self-conscious yet highly competent. Never before, I experienced such an endeavour to find the best shoes for me. At the end, I took the bull by the horns and bought two perfectly fitting pairs:



At first, Tigresa was shocked by the unsensual selection in the woman's section of Schuhhaus Gräb. But suddenly, she found a jewel that will make her score tonight. I, on the other side, am unable to move my old carcass out of the house anymore. I'm far to exhausted.

A Way To Burn In Hell

Even though, I haven't got a car and use public transport and my GT all the time, I'll probably burn in hell for excessive fuel consumption. These are the scheduled flights for the next couple of months:

1. Zurich - Amsterdam
   07.06.2005 LX724 ZHR-AMS 07:20-08:55
   
2. Amsterdam - Kuala Lumpur
   07.06.2005 MH017 AMS-KUL 12:00-06:05*
   
3. Kuala Lumpur - Shanghai
   08.06.2005 MH388 KUL-PVG 08:05-14:10
   
4. Shanghai - Kuala Lumpur
   18.06.2005 MH387 PVG-KUL 10:15-15:30
   
5. Kuala Lumpur - Zurich
   07.07.2005 MH010 KUL-ZHR 23:45-06:15*
   
6. Zurich - Moscow
   13.07.2005 LX1326 ZHR-DME 09:50-15:10
   
7. Moscow - Yakutsk
   13.07.2005 E3-191 DME-YKS 20:15-07:40*
   
8. Yakutsk - Syrjanka
9. Syrjaka - Omuliovka (MI8 helicopter)
10. Omuliovka - Syrjaka (MI8 helicopter)
11. Syrjaka - Yakutsk
12. Yakutsk - Moscow
    24.07.2005 E3-192 YKS-DME 12:00-13:50
13. Moscow - Zurich
    24.07.2005 LX1327 ZHR-DME 17:45-19:10.

Unfortunately, only the first five will be business class.

Cosy Teddies

Last Sunday, I was dragged into some teddy business. To my defence I can say that there have been quite some teddy bears in my life already, as one can expect from someone, who's first given name means bear and who's combination of all given names means divine bear. E.g, these seven bears, who were cought in Gomad Bed, were all purchased to support Zürich's Lighthouse:



Get your own teddy bear right now - it's never to late to adopt an ursine lifestyle.

Prepare Yourself

Tigresa & I are planning a trip to Siberia this summer (i.e. this mosquito season), which includes 4 domestic flights within Russia and Siberia (and two by helicopter). As usual, the Internet is rather helpful for preparation. That is, I've found some tips on expat.ru that brought back some memories:

• Some domestic flights still have Unreserved Seating, which often results in pushing-and-shoving battles to get onto the plane first. You may have to participate in order to get your chosen seat.
• Forget any notion you had that you are a "customer". On Russian domestic flights, passengers - along with their views and their custom - are seen as slightly less important than hunks of meat, and are treated very much the same way, despite the high price charged for tickets.

Swiss Innovation

I spent the last couple of days on a business trip to Copenhagen and had the change to see the changes introduced since Lufthansa took over Swiss International Airlines. Obviously, the former system (Champagne in the front seats - thirst in the back) did not prevail. Yes, drinks and a warm snack were handed out (labelled "discover the taste of Italy"), however, it was a wee bit tiny. Hence, a carry-on lunch is still no bad idea for a Swiss flight.

But the most striking discovery were the dual-use vomit bags. They cannot only be used to collect parts or all of the contents of one's stomach, which was ejected through the mouth (usually in a series of involuntary spasmic movements). They can also be used to send the films with the holiday pictures to a photo lavatory. How clever and innovative.